I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
