I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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