i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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