I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
