A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I have tasted many bathrooms
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize