You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
These tits shall not be calmed
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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