Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
