I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
