I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
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I need moral support for this bender
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
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My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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