..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
