after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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