i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize