dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
