well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
this just has baby written all over it
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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