I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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