He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
