allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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