Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
