i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
