Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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