Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
