do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
