I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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