you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
