It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
