Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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