She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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