There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Your penis caused this!
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
