Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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