he wants to bone in the snuggie
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
