just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
