No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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