I'm gonna have a badass scar
Nicole vs. Life
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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