somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
