I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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