dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Success! We fucked roommates!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize