i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
