I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
