butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
