Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
