i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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