They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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