I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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