Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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