Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We are all done wearing pants today
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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