That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
