Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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