ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
