I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i dont even know how to be here
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
