I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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