is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
