DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
