she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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