I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
