It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
