What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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