the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
