I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
