dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
