I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
