The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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