I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
NoShamevember. You game?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
