Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
