Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
