All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
