i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
